Hosting Ministry Gifts In Excellence

Hosting God’s gifts to the Body of Christ is indeed an honor and a privilege. It should be done with professionalism and in the spirit of excellence. Excellence should be the standard, not the goal of your church, ministry or organization. Excellence is how we should handle Kingdom business at all times. If you invite a speaker (or professional artist/musician) to your church or event, you should want them to have an enjoyable experience from start to finish. Always aim to exceed the expectations of your guests. This is not without reward. If the speaker has a good experience, the Word and ministry will flow freely through them without hindrance. The speaker will also be more than willing to come back again if you made their experience enjoyable.

These tips are just that; tips. Take them for what they are worth, however, before you disregard any parts of it, please consider the source. I have been preaching for about thirteen years. At least seven of those years have been spent traveling from church to church in the local area, as well as across state lines by car, train and plane. Additionally, I have hosted conferences for the past six years, as well as operated in a consulting role, helping others plan their conferences and special events.

The tips that I am sharing with you all come from a combination of good, as well as not so good experiences over the years. Most of this I had to learn on my own through trial and error, and I have certainly made some mistakes over the years. My goal is to cover all of the basics, whether your speaker is flying in from Australia or driving from down the street.

My desire is to help, not offend, so please receive these tips in the spirit in which they are given. I don’t claim to know it all, and there are certainly some aspects that I have not experienced yet; but such as I have, give I unto you.

The Invitation

It all starts with the invitation. The way you present an invitation and the way you follow through on said invitation, tells a lot about your organization, and about you as the host. Please consider the following tips:

Respect the speaker’s booking procedures. In this age of social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.), people are easier to access than ever before. However, if at all possible, do not extend formal invitations in an informal environment (social media). Think about it this way. You would not extend an invitation to Bishop Jakes or Joyce Meyer on social media. That’s the quickest way to get you ignored, and even laughed at because you do not understand protocol. You may not think that the speaker you’re inviting is on the same level or is of the same caliber of the aforementioned speakers; however, they deserve the same respect and regard.

Most established ministers have an office of some sort, and an assistant who handles their booking requests. Even if you know the speaker personally and have personal contact with them, in most cases, you will still need to speak with their assistant to solidify the plans you made with them and to get the event inked in on their calendar. Always follow the proper protocol when attempting to book a speaker. Special Note: “I gotta get you to my church soon, doc” went out in the 90s and is usually an empty promise. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Follow the protocol.

Cleary communicate all of the details of your event. Do not contact a speaker’s office unless you have a set date/event in mind. If you are unsure about your event, hold off on the invitation. You should be able to talk about your event with confidence and be able to answer questions and address concerns. Be sure that the speaker knows the event name, theme, scripture, times, will the event be recorded or streamed live, and all other pertinent information for their own planning purposes.

Investigate. Gather as much information on your speaker as you possibly can so that you can make their stay enjoyable. A little goes a long way.

Hire a professional graphics designer. I cannot stress this enough. Gone are the days where you design a flyer in Microsoft Word and call it a day. There are many professional design programs out there now and if you or your staff cannot do it professionally, outsource! A good, quality, professionally designed flyer should only cost you about $60 at the most. That is a small price to pay to make a professional presentation to your speaker and the world! Surely your ministry can afford $60. I will also add that as the host, advertising is mainly YOUR responsibility, not the speaker’s.

Airport Etiquette

No matter how big or small, the airport is usually always a hectic place. People are on tight schedules and time is of utmost importance in that setting. Here are some general airport tips:

Always, always, always meet your speaker and their party at the airport. I can think of no exceptions to this. Don’t just meet them, but meet them on time! As you can see, the major theme of an airport is time. A visitor in your city should never have to wait or search for their ride at the airport.

Make sure you’re meeting the right person. It’s not enough to meet them at the airport, but make sure that your ministry or organization is maintaining a professional appearance at all times. Have a sign with your speaker’s name on it. Not only that, but make sure that the driver has at least a general idea of how the speaker looks. If the speaker is African American, the driver shouldn’t be looking for an Asian-American. Little details save time. (Are you he, or shall we look for another?)

Greet them with a smile. It should be a given, but not always. Be courteous and smile when meeting a speaker. Offer to help them with their bags. Go the extra mile! Whomever you send to the airport is responsible for the speaker’s first impression of your city and your ministry or organization. With that being said, good hygiene and fresh breath go a looooooong way!

Leaving the airport. Don’t drive too fast, and don’t drive too slowly. This may seem like a minor detail, but there’s nothing worse than having a bumpy, nauseating flight and then a lousy driver. The two don’t mix well. Also, make sure the speaker and their party does not need to stop anywhere before arriving at the hotel or the venue.

The Hotel

Think of a speaker’s hotel as their home away from home. With that in mind……

Be wise. Make sure the hotel is in a good part of town. You don’t have to book a 5 star hotel for it to be comfortable and enjoyable for the speaker. Special note: “We’re gonna put you up at my head deacon’s house for the night” is simply unacceptable and unprofessional and went out in the 70s. Let that go.

Try to honor preferences. If they have special preferences, try your best to respect them. For example, I don’t like hotels with outside entrances (usually found at hotels with “inn” or “motel” in the name). I prefer inside corridor hotels. That’s just my preference. Does that make me grand? No. It’s just my preference. Personally, if a host cannot accommodate that, I don’t make a big fuss about it. That usually happens in smaller cities and towns.

Make sure the room is completely paid for. This should be another given, but not always. A speaker should never have to pay for their own room! You are the host. Additionally, if the speaker is going to be responsible for incidentals, make sure they are aware of that beforehand. Make sure you let the speaker or their assistant know exactly where they will be staying and send confirmation numbers before their arrival. If the speaker drove in, meet them at the hotel to greet and assist them!

Check them in beforehand. Always try to check your speaker into their room before they arrive. This not only saves time, but gives you as the host another opportunity to go the extra mile. There is nothing like walking into a hotel room where there is a fresh fruit basket or food tray, water, a welcome/thank you card, and comfortable room temperature. It says, “We appreciate you”, “We honor you”, “We’re glad you came”, and/or “We’re ready for you to preach the paint off the walls”. Either way, it’s a classic touch.

Parking
This section applies mainly to speakers who drive themselves to the venue. If the speaker flew into your city and you are picking them up from the hotel, the rules are quite simple: Be on time, be courteous, no loud music, no talk radio, no loud or excessive talking (driver) and drive at a comfortable speed.

Now on to parking tips. Again, this may seem like a small detail, but I believe it to be helpful information.

Reserved parking. A space should be reserved for your speaker. Put yellow or orange cones out and make sure that no one parks there. Additionally, have an attendant waiting outside to assist them, whether they have an armourbearer or not. Take care of every detail. If it’s raining, or even sprinkling, grab an umbrella. Be prepared. This helps the speaker to keep their mind off of trivial matters and focus on the bigger matter; delivering the word.

Walk them in. The attendant should also walk the speaker and their party into the church or venue. There’s nothing worse than pulling up to a place you’ve never been before, walking in and the usher or greeter doesn’t even know that you are the speaker! One word: unprofessional.

The Office

Most speakers do not want to get right out of the car and walk into the service or event. They want time to freshen up and collect their thoughts. Here are a few tips regarding the office or green room that you host your speakers in:

Make sure the office is clean and presentable. Again, this should be a given, but not always. You should “clean up for company” and make the space comfortable for your guest. Also, make sure that the space is big enough to accommodate them. For example, your speaker may want to change clothes before or especially after they speak. Have space set aside for them to do this in comfort.

Have supplies on hand. When I say supplies, I’m referring to basics such as bottled water, coffee, juice, mints, napkins/tissue and the like. If your church has Wi-Fi, make sure the speaker or their staff is able to access it from the office. That’s a supply too!

The host greeting. After the attendant greets your speaker in the parking lot, brings them in and shows them to the office, the host should be heading that way soon. If possible, always greet your guests shortly after they arrive. This not only makes you appear welcoming, warm and hospitable, it also gives you time to discuss any last minute details or concerns before they enter the service. Preferably, it is also the host who should walk their guests to the pulpit or stage where they will be sitting.

The Offering

This is such a sensitive topic, but it really doesn’t have to be. We talk about money everywhere else but church, however, it takes money to run a church just like it takes money to run a business or your house! Again, these tips apply to any situation, whether the speaker is an international evangelist who flew in from Africa, or another local pastor who drove in from the next city over. Here we go:

Always ask if there is a set or minimum honorarium. Never assume anything. Always ask. Most of the time, you don’t have to ask, you will be told during the booking process. If you are not told, don’t be afraid to ask before you get a final confirmation on their booking. Some ministers have a set honorarium and others have a minimum that they will accept. I agree that some honorarium requests are absolutely ridiculous; however, it is not the purpose of this blog to address that, but rather to address your willingness and ability to comply with their request. If you feel it is too much or out of your budget, attempt to “negotiate”. If you still aren’t satisfied, I’m sure you can find a speaker without such stringent honorarium requirements who is just as anointed. (I’m just saying…)

I had problems in this area when I first started out and even sometimes now. The misconception by those with no understanding of ministry is that the speaker is “charging for the Word”. I’ve heard it all: “They should just take what they can get”; “It was freely given so they should give it free”. Most people who have a heart for God and are serious about ministry have reasons behind their set honorarium or their minimum. Take into account their expenses, time away from their family, church or job, as well as the staff they may have to pay on the road or back at home.

Many, such as myself, have set minimums because people attempt to take kindness and humility for weakness and stupidity. Unfortunately, having a heart for God’s people and for ministry will sometimes get you taken advantage of. Those who have been taken advantage long enough wise up at some point and start handling business, or hiring someone who can and who will. (Thank God for Paul Ellis!)

Know how offerings will be handled. Will the speaker take 50% of the offering they raise? 100%? Will this be in addition to their honorarium or part of their honorarium? This is information that should be discussed again before the speaker arrives, and confirmed during the host greeting before entering the service. Most times, honorariums can be used to bless the speaker above their minimum.

Many local speakers don’t have a set honorarium or a minimum. They simply raise an offering. This all depends on what level of traveling ministry the speaker is on. No matter what the arrangement, this should be discussed before the speaker’s time of ministry. There should be no surprises about money. As a speaker, there have been times when I raised hundreds of dollars, then refused to take any money. That’s my surprise for the host and my honor to sow; it shouldn’t be a surprise from the other way around. #selah

Always have cash on hand.  This applies more when hosting a speaker who is traveling a long distance by car. Honorariums should be given by church/ministry check or cashier check, however, always offer someone traveling by car some cash, whether in addition to their honorarium check or taken out of it. They may need money for gas or other incidentals on the way home. If all they have is a check, they still don’t have any money because banks are probably closed.

Have checks or cash ready. Never conduct financial business in front of your speaker. Again, there’s that word: unprofessional. Also be timely and professional in your presentation of their honorarium. A hand full of waded up ones is not business-like and will probably get you in trouble with our dear Uncle Sam down the road.

Always take care of God’s gifts! The Bible clearly tells us not to muzzle the ox that treads out the corn. The Apostle Paul also instructed the church at Corinth: “If we have sown spiritual things for you, is it a great thing if we reap your material things?” In other words, after all the ministry work we’ve done for you, don’t start tripping when money is mentioned! It’s called reciprocation and that’s how you get blessed and remain prosperous as a host (a prophet’s reward).

A speaker with a heart for God and His people will labor to prepare, deliver a Word and even work the altar. Ministering ain’t easy! Simply saying “Good word!” or my personal favorite, “We know we can’t pay you for the Word…” is no longer acceptable. Let’s do away with such sayings, which usually mean the speaker won’t have even enough money for a combo off of McDonald’s dollar menu on the way home! Honor God’s gifts! (Soul say, Yeah!)

Take care of your unc! If you don’t want a prison ministry, file your paperwork with the IRS. Make sure you’re up to speed on tax laws governing love offerings, charitable contributions and contract employees. If you pay someone $600 or more, writing a check is not an option; it’s a necessity. Any offering $600 or more must be reported to the IRS on a 1098 form. The beginning of the year following your event, you are to issue your speaker a 1099-MISC, which they are to file on their taxes. Be sure to gather personal contact information, social security number or EIN number from your speaker’s office during the booking process so that you may complete these forms. Respect your uncle!

Aftercare

What you do and how you handle a speaker after they minister is just as important as all of the preliminaries. When most speakers are done ministering, they are drained, tired and hungry. Take all of this into considering and handle them with care.

Help attend to their needs if they don’t have an armourbearer. See if there is anything you can do to assist or help them. Don’t be overbearing, but make your presence and desire to help known.

Respect their wishes. Some speakers like to mingle a lot after they minister, some don’t. Ask and then respect their preferences without the need for a detailed explanation. Just know that for some, peace and quiet is priceless.

Food. Maybe it’s just the Southerner in me, but I believe in feeding home cooked meals for a speaker following a service, especially if they are staying overnight. Restaurants are impersonal, are often crowded, and most of the time, CLOSED. As a nice added touch, consider feeding your speaker and their party in a private atmosphere where they can relax and refresh. And please make sure the cook isn’t experimenting on your guests! Further, during the booking process, ask your speaker’s assistant if he or she has any allergies, etc. You don’t want to kill God’s gift!

All of this may seem like a lot, some of it may even seem trivial. However, if you desire to operate at a level of excellence in ministry, I believe these tips will help you do just that. Stay tuned for more tips to be added later. In summary, let the preacher just focus on preaching, and you handle the details. Be an excellent host or don’t host at all.

 

#dropsmic #walksoffstage

Suicidal: Conquering Holiday Depression

Preface

As I was preparing myself to spend Christmas Eve with my grandmother in the kitchen, I was led of the Lord to share this excerpt from my first ebook, “Encourage Yourself” on suicide, depression and the Holidays. As a mental health professional, I know for a fact that during this time of the year, depression is at an all-time high. Many people find themselves depressed during this season for many reasons, whether it is because of the thought of lost loved ones, economic hardships, unemployment, loneliness and so on.

Whether you are experiencing depression, have contemplated suicide or know someone who is depressed or suicidal, I pray this blog (which is also a personal testimony) is an encouragement. You really do have some to smile about, and something to live for!

LIVE!

Suicidal

Allow me to speak from heart for a minute. There is a lot I could say about this topic, but I do not feel the need to be long winded. This sort of topic requires that I get straight to the point. In short, if you’re reading this right now, you’re still alive. Because you are alive, you have destiny and you have purpose.

God has a plan for your life. It’s a good plan. According to Jeremiah 29:11, He is thinking good thoughts about you. His plan will give you hope, peace and prosperity.

No matter how bad it is right now, it isn’t over for you. If you can just get through this rough spot, you will be alright. We all have times where we feel overwhelmed by life and all of its problems. We feel worthless, like no one cares, like we’re all alone in this world. I want you to be encouraged today and know that God is with you and that He loves you.

Taking your own life won’t solve anything. You may feel that it can’t get any better and that you have no choice but to end it all. I want to minister hope to you today. I speak life to you. Don’t give up!

You may feel that your family and friends would be better off if your weren’t around. This is not true either. Your untimely death would devastate everyone who knows you! Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Once you do it, it’s done. There is no reversal or changing your mind. It is a final decision! Nothing that you are going through is worth taking your own life.

This subject is so taboo, especially among Christians, yet it is happening in our circles. It’s not only happening in the pews, it’s happening in the pulpit. Leaders and lay members alike are depressed and feel hopeless. We are in great company. Suicidal thoughts are common, especially for the great and gifted.

We see many examples of depression and feeling of hopelessness even in the Bible. One example I will use is Elijah. (See 1 Kings 19) He was so depressed that he ran and hid in a cave. He was running away from life and purpose. Not only that, but the Bible says that he wanted his life to be over. He got so discouraged that he wanted to end it all.

Elijah was a great man of God, and the thought crossed his mind, but he didn’t act on it. He got a word from the Lord. That’s what I want to give you today; a word from the Lord! It’s not over yet.

You’re just getting started. The best is yet to come! Lift yourself up. Encourage yourself. Put on your garment of praise today and it will lift the spirit of heaviness! Learn how to bless the Lord at all times, no matter what you are going through and you will make it out with your life and your sanity.

I have been where you are and I made it out alive. I have not only thought about taking my life before, but in 2008, I made an unsuccessful attempt by taking an overdose of a deadly mix of prescription pills and pain killers. YES I was in ministry and YES I was anointed, but I was suicidal and unable to cope with the stresses of life. I just wanted it to be over!

 There is no way that I should be alive in 2012 to type this, but I want to let you know that God blocked it and I am here today. I am a living witness (a living epistle) that there is abundant life ahead of you if you refuse to give up on yourself now.

I love my life and you should love yours too! Today, I’m living my dreams and walking in my destiny and purpose. You can’t pay me  to take my own life now! I like me! Now, my assignment is to encourage others to faint not.

I want to offer life to you today. The devil came to steal your life and to convince you that it’s not worth living. The Bible lets us know that Satan is the “Father of Lies”. That means that everything he has ever told you is a LIE. He has lied to you about your life and your future. He came to kill, steal and destroy, but Jesus came to give you life. Not just life, but abundant life! (John 10:10)

You have something to live for! God is not through using you and He’s not finished blessing you! Don’t give up. You can and you will make it! This holiday season, choose to focus on the positive areas of your life. Whatever you’re presently going through, know that it could be a lot worse. If you take an inventory of your life, you would see that you have a lot to be thankful for. Don't focus on the negative. Surround yourself with Scripture, positive people, and uplifting music.

One thing you can certainly be thankful for is that Jesus was born and died just for you. Because of his birth, life, death and resurrection, you and I have HOPE. That is what we celebrate during this season. We celebrate that no matter how bad our life is, Jesus is the answer and He came to heal all who are oppressed of the devil and to destroy the works of evil (1 John 3:8). He is the Prince of Peace and He promised that He would keep us in perfect peace if we keep our minds stayed and focus on Him! (Isaiah 26:3)

You were not built to break. I decree and declare in the name of Jesus that you shall live and not die! May the joy of the Lord be your strength. Merry Christmas! If you don't get one gift tomorrow, you have the gift of LIFE. It's precious. Cherish it!

"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." ~Romans 8:37

Clinical Addendum: If you are dealing with a family member who is suicidal, NOT talking about it does not make it go away. You must give those feelings and emotions a voice. Not talking about it only makes it worse. If talking about it does not help the situation to your satisfaction, PLEASE consult a professional!!!

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If you need further help and counseling, you may contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t be afraid or embarrassed about getting help!

The Shift to GLORY

As we hasten toward the end of another year, I see something major happening in the body of Christ that goes far beyond our individual churches, denominations and organizations. We are on the verge of a Kingdom-wide shift that involves a changing of the guard. Whenever God is about to shift the Body of Christ from one season to another, He raises up new leadership. We see this even with Joshua when God declared to him in Joshua 1:2, “Moses my servant is dead.” A new generation of leaders are postured, positioned and ready to mobilize.

As we move closer and closer to the end times, God desires to realign and reposition His church. Yet, ironically, the Body of Christ has come to a place where we have removed God from the church. We have removed God from the church by focusing more on fame, fortune, programs and events. The church of today is more interested in our own glory instead of His glory. Because of this, we have had “church”, but many have not truly experienced God in his fullness. We have a form of godliness with little to no power. It is possible to be a “church member” and not be a Kingdom citizen (John 3:5; Luke 17:20).

This place that the Body of Christ is currently in reminds me of the book of 1 Samuel. In 1 Samuel chapter 2, it begins to talk about the high priest Eli and his sons, Hophni and Phinehas who assisted him in his priestly duties. However, the Bible lets us know that they were wicked, corrupt and did not know the Lord. Not only did they steal the offerings, but Eli’s sons also had sex with the women who had assembled in the tabernacle. This means that sexual acts were happening right in God’s house!

This sounds like today’s church, right? Greed, the love of money, no fear and reverence for God or His house and rampant sexual immorality. Yet in the middle of all of this evil and wickedness, God placed Samuel as a child in the temple. Even amongst all of the evil, there are those who can continue in their “duties” and maintain “church as usual”, but it’s not Kingdom because there is no demonstration of God’s power (Matthew 12:28) or transformation of the minds (Romans 12:1-2). Though Samuel was young and inexperienced, God was setting Samuel up to take over and turn the people’s hearts back to God, which is one of the roles of a prophet. God allowed him to be around corruption to show him a more excellent way.

This is the shift that is happening in the Body of Christ right now. The sons of Eli have run the house of God long enough. The spirit of Eli and his sons is rampant in the today’s church. But in the middle of corruption and wickedness, Samuel is a “secret agent”; a “sleeper spy” who is growing in stature and in favor. Samuel has been called into the Kingdom for such a time as this!

Samuel represents the remnant inside of a corrupt system. There are some Samuels who are being birthed, set in place, and brought into the Kingdom of God for such a time as this. God has placed Samuel in position to be ready for the coming shift in the Body of Christ! Next is about to become NOW.

In today’s church, there is a remnant of people, young and old, who have the spirit of Samuel and are ready, postured and in position for a Kingdom Takeover. But if you read the story, you will see that Samuel waited for God to shift him. Though Samuel was in the house and saw all of the corruption going on, He did not usurp the authority that was already in place. He waited until God called him and made room for him. I caution this generation to not possess a zeal that is not according to knowledge. God is a God of order and everything will happen in His time. We must wait patiently for the shift!

In Samuel, chapter 4, we learn of a battle between Israel and the Philistines. Not only did Israel lose the battle, but the lost the Ark of the Covenant, which represented the presence of the Lord. When Eli heard of all that had transpired, he fell off of his seat, broke his neck and died. When Eli’s daughter-in-law, who was pregnant with the next generation, heard the news, she went into premature labor, naming her son Ichabod, meaning "the glory of the Lord has departed from Israe"l.

The only person left standing was Samuel. Samuel represents a paradigm shift, a sudden changing of the guard. Samuel is the start of new regime or governmental order (2012: The Year of Governmental Order). Though Ichabod was birthed, Samuel was the prophet who led the Israelites into the Philistines camp to recover the Ark. This will either be the generation which knew not the Lord (Judges 2:10), or the generation that seeks the face of God (Psalm 24:6).

I believe that this the generation that wants GOD and not just a “form of godliness”. In the next shift, the Ark of God is returning to the temple. It’s a shift to glory. The Ark (presence of God) is now in our hearts and we have a hunger and thirst after God’s righteousness. As we make this turn in the Body of Christ, you need to ask yourself this question: Am I a Samuel (for God’s glory); or a son of Eli (for my own glory)?

#dropsmic

Successfully Single: In The Meantime

Ecclesiastes 3:1 is a very familiar scripture to believers and nonbelievers alike: “To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (KJV). This scripture lets us know that there are seasons for everything. Not only that, but there is a time for every purpose. In short, there is a purpose and a set time for each season of our life. The third chapter goes on to talk about a time for many different purposes; a time to be born, a time do die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what has been planted and so on.

But what about “a time to be single”...?

Whether you’re single and have never been married, divorced or widowed, if you are single right now, you are in a certain season, or time in your life. According to Ecclesiastes 3:1, this season of singleness has a purpose (….”a time to every purpose…”). In order to maximize your time in a certain season, it is imperative that you under the purpose of the season. I want to discuss what I believe your season of singleness is about and also what I believe it should not be about.

What It’s NOT
Church culture and ideology has convinced single people, especially single women, that the purpose of your time or season of singleness is to spend all of your time praying and waiting on a husband. A popular cliché among single women in the church today is, “I’m waiting on my Boaz”. However, many women in the church have spent all of their time of singleness waiting on “Boaz” and when he finally came, they discovered that they really got “BoBo” or “Bozo” (a clown).

For single men, especially single men who are preachers, pastors, etc., church culture, influenced by worldly ideologies has convinced men that something is wrong with you if you’re not married or engaged, especially by 30. In the minds of many carnal church people, 30 is the cut off point for single men. By that time, they’ve concluded that either you’re gay or that you’re a whoremonger who isn’t willing to settle down with just one woman.

I have seen many single men in the church and colleagues in ministry rush into a marriage because of the pressure that has been placed upon them. Most of these men who are rushed into marriage either aren’t ready mentally, emotionally and financially or they end up picking the wrong mate altogether. I always say that I’d rather be SINGLE than SORRY! The risk of picking the wrong one is more painful than being single in my opinion.

There certainly has to be more purpose to being a single Christian than just waiting around to get married! There has to be something better that we can be doing with our time. While I do believe that a season of singleness is the perfect time to prepare yourself for the future role of a husband or wife, certainly that is not the only purpose of your singleness!

What It Is
So what is the purpose for this season? What do we do in the meantime?

I believe one of those purposes is found in 1 Corinthians 7:32: “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” (KJV).

This scripture doesn’t mean that single Christians don’t have busy lives filled with responsibilities. What it is simply saying is that a single person has more time to care for the things of God and also how they may please the Lord. You have more time to pray, study, seek God, and so on. You are more free to pursue the purpose of God for your life and more time to spend with God. It goes on to say that a man or a woman who is married must now be concerned about worldly things, including how they can please their spouse.

The Bible talks about two becoming one. Marriage is the ultimate merger. In 1 Corinthians 7:4, it says that the husband doesn’t belong to himself, neither does the wife belong to herself. They belong and are submitted to each other. So there’s more to consider when you are connected to another person. You are not as free to “do your own thing”. You now have to be concerned about the other individual with whom you are connected for life.

Paul goes in chapter 7 to call marriage a distraction. In one scripture, he said that he wishes everyone was like him; single and celibate. However, Paul realized that everyone wasn’t going to be like him (thank God) and he said it is better to marry than to burn, implying sexual desire. So he did not forbid marriage, however he did imply that those who are single are in a better position in the Kingdom because they are more available to GOD.

Purpose
You may desire to get married one day and you might be waiting on a spouse. But why not spend this time, this season of your life pursuing God with your whole heart? This is the perfect time in your life to focus your full, undivided attention on God and His purpose for your life. This is the time to be on fire for God and to be close to God because once you get married, you not only belong to someone else, but you have other responsibilities that will sometimes take you away from the things of God.

So what is the purpose for a time or season of singleness? The purpose is to pursue God and His purpose, desires, plans and destiny for your life. This is the time to live your life with purpose and meaning. This is the time to discover who you are. This is the time to be happy and comfortable with yourself. If you can’t be happy alone, don’t think that a relationship can make you happy. It will only complicate your life because you will have no identity and you will look for a relationship to define who you are. But if you know who you are and who your God is, when it’s time for your to transition into marriage, you’ll be a whole person. Two can only become one when two whole people come to the marriage!

This is the perfect time to discover who you and all of the wonderful things that God has for you. You don’t have to wait until marriage, you can live your life with purpose now. I believe that once you begin seeking God and His purpose for your life, you will eventually attract someone who has been doing the same!

I remember after a hard breakup about two years ago, my spiritual father spoke some words of wisdom and encouragement to me. He told me that God had someone for me, but I would have a lonely walk because of the calling on my life and where God was taking me in ministry. He said that God needed to make sure that he had my heart and attention completely before He sent someone into my life because of the added responsibilities that I would have to take on.

What he was basically saying is that I will be distracted once a wife and kids came into the picture of my life. Though I didn’t want to hear that, especially the part about a “lonely walk”, it brought a sense of purpose and meaning to my time of singleness. This is the time for me to passionately pursue God and walk strong in my purpose.

Content….For Now
So in this season, enjoy your freedom! Don’t be so consumed with your singleness and the “idea” of getting married, that you don’t live your life. It is fine and perfectly normal to desire a spouse. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that it is wrong for you to desire marriage (especially if they’re married with thighs in their bed every night!).

God gave us the desire for intimacy. In the beginning, He said that it was not good that the man be alone. He told us to “be fruitful and multiply”, then gave us the sexual desire to make it happen. If your desire is to be married, I believe that God will give you the desires of your heart. But in the meantime, don’t be thirsty, lonely or depressed, especially around holidays such as today, St. Valentine’s Day.

Try not to sing the blues today. If you’re a woman, keep waiting,  open your heart to potential candidates and live your life to the fullest. If you’re a man, keep praying, keep your eyes open, find a woman and pursue your “good thing”. But don’t be so thirsty that you’re willing to settle for anybody just to have somebody! You have more purpose and value than that.

Bring all that you can out of your singleness. Be content in whatever state you’re in. Learn how to be happy where you are until your season changes. Content doesn’t necessarily mean satisfied, it means that you’re okay for now. If you can trust God and be content, I believe that He will bless you according to your faithfulness. When you focus on God and your purpose, everything else will fall in line. In Matthew 6:33 we are told to seek the Kingdom of God FIRST and His righteousness and everything else will be taken care of.

I’ll leave you with this quote by Dr. Debora Hooper……..

“Do so much ministry….Get so many degrees….Travel so many places….Save so much money….Buy so many clothes….Own so much property, that each night you go to bed so tired but thanking GOD for your [season of] singleness!”

Do something with your single life in the meantime. LIVE! When you do get married, what are you going to bring to the table?? #dropsmic

The Story Behind My Praise

One year ago today, I was involved in a nearly fatal car accident during my morning commute to work. I wrote the following note on Facebook about four days after the incident. I'm just as grateful today as I was then! Enjoy my testimony...
This past week, I learned the real power of prayer. I have been saved since I was about 8 years old, and I am just now coming to the full realization of the power that is in prayer. In Luke 18:1, Jesus told his disciples that… “…men ought always to pray, and not to faint”. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 exhorts us to “Pray without ceasing”. There is power in prayer!

Many of you know by now that I was involved in a nearly fatal car accident on Wednesday, November 3rd at about 9 a.m. while I was headed to work. It was a rainy and wet morning here in South Mississippi. I was late leaving for work because I had to stop at the hospital (the same hospital I would later have to come back to via ambulance) to pick up some medical records. As I got on the interstate, the Holy Spirit begin to fill the car. I literally felt the presence of God as I was driving. I vividly remember saying to God, “God I feel your presence so heavy in this car”.

I begin to pray in the Spirit as I felt the unction. It got to a point where it became uncontrollable. The rain begin to pour harder and harder and it became harder to see. I continued to pray. I also slowed down (common sense). As I think about what happened within the next five minutes, Romans 8:26 comes to mind:

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words”

Speaking in tongues is often times seen as crazy, foolish and a bunch of hype only exercised by overly emotional Pentecostal believers. But speaking in tongues, or praying the Holy Ghost is a gift that is given by God to the 21st Century believer according to Acts 2. You don’t have to use, but you NEED to use it. Praying the Holy Ghost literally saved my life!

Romans 8:26 says that we don’t even know what to pray, but the SPIRIT knows what to pray because the spirit knows the deep things of God (1 Corinthians 2:10). When you don’t know what to pray, the Spirit of God does. He is all knowing, and He knows what’s ahead.

1 Corinthians 14:2

“For anyone who speaks in tongues does not speak to men but to God. Indeed, no one understands him; he utters mysteries with his spirit.”

While I was praying and listening to my brother, Myron Williams on the radio, I hit the back of the truck in front of me. Before the accident, I saw the car in front of me suddenly change lanes. I looked up and saw a SUV stopped in the middle of the highway. The driver stopped because the driver in front of them was going too fast and hydroplaned, causing his vehicle to spin around. The SUV that I hit stopped to avoid hitting the first vehicle. I had no way (and no time) to get over because cars were zooming by in the other lane. I hit the brakes on my car but it was too late.

I knew that I was going to hit the SUV and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The road was too wet for my brakes to stop in time. That was the scariest thing I’ve EVER experienced in my life. I had about five seconds to brace myself for impact.

I saw my whole life literally pass before my eyes. I saw my family. I saw my friends. I saw people I haven’t seen for years. I saw my enemies. I saw people I would like to make peace with. All in about five seconds.

BAM! I hit the truck. My glasses went one way, my hat went another way. The airbags deployed and hit me in the face and chest. The seatbelt pulled me back hard, leaving visible marks across my chest and also bruising my pelvis on both sides. My knee hit the dashboard. I blacked out for a couple of seconds and I thought I was dead.

When I realized I wasn’t dead, my first thought was to get out of the car because it may catch on fire. So I unbuckled my seatbelt and stumbled out of the car. I went over to the side of the bridge and held on as I looked back at my car in complete shock. When I got out of the car, my lips could utter no English at first. I was STILL praying in tongues. While the rain was pouring HARD, I lifted my hands to God and spoke my first English phrase…… “THANK YOU JESUS”!!!!

I had a PRAISE BREAK on the side of the road!!!!!!!!!!

God allowed three people to stop and help me. One carried me to her car and placed me in the back seat, out of the rain while the other two went and searched my car for my glasses, my phone and other personal items. One lady looked me in my eyes with tears in her eyes and said, “Someone was definitely watching over you today!”



Several people have looked at my car and asked, “You walked out of this car??????” My answer to that question is, “Nobody did this but GOD!” God still works miracles and I am a walking, talking, breathing miracle! I am the product of a modern day Passover. I am covered by the Blood of Jesus Christ, so death had to pass over me!

I wrote this note to encourage you all to pray! You never know what danger lies ahead. Had I not been praying, God only knows what would have happened to me. I believe that prayer saved my life! We always pray for God’s protection and his covering, but often times we are just saying it because it sounds good. We ought to always be in a position of prayer. We ought to be so yielded to God that when He says “Pray”, we pray without asking questions.

I also wrote this note to encourage you to pursue your destiny while living your life to the fullest. I believe that God spared my life because I am adamant about my destiny, purpose and reaching my full potential. I made a decision at the beginning of this year that I was on my way to destiny, never to accept anything less again. I made a decision that I will not entertain foolishness and stupidity because there is too much destiny and purpose on the inside of me! For that, the devil is mad at “lil ole me”! But I KNOW that all things work together for my good!

I also wrote this note to encourage any of you who do know have a relationship (not religion) with God to accept Him into your heart and start living life according to His word. You never know what lies ahead. You all should be attending my funeral services this coming week, but God covered me through the saving blood of His son, Jesus! God protects and watches over those who are HIS!!!!

Because God spared my life, I owe Him my life. I trust Him with my life! If He has never been Lord of all before, He is now! November 3rd was a redefining moment for me. God blocked it because I have work to do before I leave this Earth, and so do YOU!

In His Arms,
Prophet Joshua