Suicidal: Conquering Holiday Depression

Preface

As I was preparing myself to spend Christmas Eve with my grandmother in the kitchen, I was led of the Lord to share this excerpt from my first ebook, “Encourage Yourself” on suicide, depression and the Holidays. As a mental health professional, I know for a fact that during this time of the year, depression is at an all-time high. Many people find themselves depressed during this season for many reasons, whether it is because of the thought of lost loved ones, economic hardships, unemployment, loneliness and so on.

Whether you are experiencing depression, have contemplated suicide or know someone who is depressed or suicidal, I pray this blog (which is also a personal testimony) is an encouragement. You really do have some to smile about, and something to live for!

LIVE!

Suicidal

Allow me to speak from heart for a minute. There is a lot I could say about this topic, but I do not feel the need to be long winded. This sort of topic requires that I get straight to the point. In short, if you’re reading this right now, you’re still alive. Because you are alive, you have destiny and you have purpose.

God has a plan for your life. It’s a good plan. According to Jeremiah 29:11, He is thinking good thoughts about you. His plan will give you hope, peace and prosperity.

No matter how bad it is right now, it isn’t over for you. If you can just get through this rough spot, you will be alright. We all have times where we feel overwhelmed by life and all of its problems. We feel worthless, like no one cares, like we’re all alone in this world. I want you to be encouraged today and know that God is with you and that He loves you.

Taking your own life won’t solve anything. You may feel that it can’t get any better and that you have no choice but to end it all. I want to minister hope to you today. I speak life to you. Don’t give up!

You may feel that your family and friends would be better off if your weren’t around. This is not true either. Your untimely death would devastate everyone who knows you! Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Once you do it, it’s done. There is no reversal or changing your mind. It is a final decision! Nothing that you are going through is worth taking your own life.

This subject is so taboo, especially among Christians, yet it is happening in our circles. It’s not only happening in the pews, it’s happening in the pulpit. Leaders and lay members alike are depressed and feel hopeless. We are in great company. Suicidal thoughts are common, especially for the great and gifted.

We see many examples of depression and feeling of hopelessness even in the Bible. One example I will use is Elijah. (See 1 Kings 19) He was so depressed that he ran and hid in a cave. He was running away from life and purpose. Not only that, but the Bible says that he wanted his life to be over. He got so discouraged that he wanted to end it all.

Elijah was a great man of God, and the thought crossed his mind, but he didn’t act on it. He got a word from the Lord. That’s what I want to give you today; a word from the Lord! It’s not over yet.

You’re just getting started. The best is yet to come! Lift yourself up. Encourage yourself. Put on your garment of praise today and it will lift the spirit of heaviness! Learn how to bless the Lord at all times, no matter what you are going through and you will make it out with your life and your sanity.

I have been where you are and I made it out alive. I have not only thought about taking my life before, but in 2008, I made an unsuccessful attempt by taking an overdose of a deadly mix of prescription pills and pain killers. YES I was in ministry and YES I was anointed, but I was suicidal and unable to cope with the stresses of life. I just wanted it to be over!

 There is no way that I should be alive in 2012 to type this, but I want to let you know that God blocked it and I am here today. I am a living witness (a living epistle) that there is abundant life ahead of you if you refuse to give up on yourself now.

I love my life and you should love yours too! Today, I’m living my dreams and walking in my destiny and purpose. You can’t pay me  to take my own life now! I like me! Now, my assignment is to encourage others to faint not.

I want to offer life to you today. The devil came to steal your life and to convince you that it’s not worth living. The Bible lets us know that Satan is the “Father of Lies”. That means that everything he has ever told you is a LIE. He has lied to you about your life and your future. He came to kill, steal and destroy, but Jesus came to give you life. Not just life, but abundant life! (John 10:10)

You have something to live for! God is not through using you and He’s not finished blessing you! Don’t give up. You can and you will make it! This holiday season, choose to focus on the positive areas of your life. Whatever you’re presently going through, know that it could be a lot worse. If you take an inventory of your life, you would see that you have a lot to be thankful for. Don't focus on the negative. Surround yourself with Scripture, positive people, and uplifting music.

One thing you can certainly be thankful for is that Jesus was born and died just for you. Because of his birth, life, death and resurrection, you and I have HOPE. That is what we celebrate during this season. We celebrate that no matter how bad our life is, Jesus is the answer and He came to heal all who are oppressed of the devil and to destroy the works of evil (1 John 3:8). He is the Prince of Peace and He promised that He would keep us in perfect peace if we keep our minds stayed and focus on Him! (Isaiah 26:3)

You were not built to break. I decree and declare in the name of Jesus that you shall live and not die! May the joy of the Lord be your strength. Merry Christmas! If you don't get one gift tomorrow, you have the gift of LIFE. It's precious. Cherish it!

"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." ~Romans 8:37

Clinical Addendum: If you are dealing with a family member who is suicidal, NOT talking about it does not make it go away. You must give those feelings and emotions a voice. Not talking about it only makes it worse. If talking about it does not help the situation to your satisfaction, PLEASE consult a professional!!!

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If you need further help and counseling, you may contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t be afraid or embarrassed about getting help!

The Shift to GLORY

As we hasten toward the end of another year, I see something major happening in the body of Christ that goes far beyond our individual churches, denominations and organizations. We are on the verge of a Kingdom-wide shift that involves a changing of the guard. Whenever God is about to shift the Body of Christ from one season to another, He raises up new leadership. We see this even with Joshua when God declared to him in Joshua 1:2, “Moses my servant is dead.” A new generation of leaders are postured, positioned and ready to mobilize.

As we move closer and closer to the end times, God desires to realign and reposition His church. Yet, ironically, the Body of Christ has come to a place where we have removed God from the church. We have removed God from the church by focusing more on fame, fortune, programs and events. The church of today is more interested in our own glory instead of His glory. Because of this, we have had “church”, but many have not truly experienced God in his fullness. We have a form of godliness with little to no power. It is possible to be a “church member” and not be a Kingdom citizen (John 3:5; Luke 17:20).

This place that the Body of Christ is currently in reminds me of the book of 1 Samuel. In 1 Samuel chapter 2, it begins to talk about the high priest Eli and his sons, Hophni and Phinehas who assisted him in his priestly duties. However, the Bible lets us know that they were wicked, corrupt and did not know the Lord. Not only did they steal the offerings, but Eli’s sons also had sex with the women who had assembled in the tabernacle. This means that sexual acts were happening right in God’s house!

This sounds like today’s church, right? Greed, the love of money, no fear and reverence for God or His house and rampant sexual immorality. Yet in the middle of all of this evil and wickedness, God placed Samuel as a child in the temple. Even amongst all of the evil, there are those who can continue in their “duties” and maintain “church as usual”, but it’s not Kingdom because there is no demonstration of God’s power (Matthew 12:28) or transformation of the minds (Romans 12:1-2). Though Samuel was young and inexperienced, God was setting Samuel up to take over and turn the people’s hearts back to God, which is one of the roles of a prophet. God allowed him to be around corruption to show him a more excellent way.

This is the shift that is happening in the Body of Christ right now. The sons of Eli have run the house of God long enough. The spirit of Eli and his sons is rampant in the today’s church. But in the middle of corruption and wickedness, Samuel is a “secret agent”; a “sleeper spy” who is growing in stature and in favor. Samuel has been called into the Kingdom for such a time as this!

Samuel represents the remnant inside of a corrupt system. There are some Samuels who are being birthed, set in place, and brought into the Kingdom of God for such a time as this. God has placed Samuel in position to be ready for the coming shift in the Body of Christ! Next is about to become NOW.

In today’s church, there is a remnant of people, young and old, who have the spirit of Samuel and are ready, postured and in position for a Kingdom Takeover. But if you read the story, you will see that Samuel waited for God to shift him. Though Samuel was in the house and saw all of the corruption going on, He did not usurp the authority that was already in place. He waited until God called him and made room for him. I caution this generation to not possess a zeal that is not according to knowledge. God is a God of order and everything will happen in His time. We must wait patiently for the shift!

In Samuel, chapter 4, we learn of a battle between Israel and the Philistines. Not only did Israel lose the battle, but the lost the Ark of the Covenant, which represented the presence of the Lord. When Eli heard of all that had transpired, he fell off of his seat, broke his neck and died. When Eli’s daughter-in-law, who was pregnant with the next generation, heard the news, she went into premature labor, naming her son Ichabod, meaning "the glory of the Lord has departed from Israe"l.

The only person left standing was Samuel. Samuel represents a paradigm shift, a sudden changing of the guard. Samuel is the start of new regime or governmental order (2012: The Year of Governmental Order). Though Ichabod was birthed, Samuel was the prophet who led the Israelites into the Philistines camp to recover the Ark. This will either be the generation which knew not the Lord (Judges 2:10), or the generation that seeks the face of God (Psalm 24:6).

I believe that this the generation that wants GOD and not just a “form of godliness”. In the next shift, the Ark of God is returning to the temple. It’s a shift to glory. The Ark (presence of God) is now in our hearts and we have a hunger and thirst after God’s righteousness. As we make this turn in the Body of Christ, you need to ask yourself this question: Am I a Samuel (for God’s glory); or a son of Eli (for my own glory)?

#dropsmic

Successfully Single: In The Meantime

Ecclesiastes 3:1 is a very familiar scripture to believers and nonbelievers alike: “To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (KJV). This scripture lets us know that there are seasons for everything. Not only that, but there is a time for every purpose. In short, there is a purpose and a set time for each season of our life. The third chapter goes on to talk about a time for many different purposes; a time to be born, a time do die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what has been planted and so on.

But what about “a time to be single”...?

Whether you’re single and have never been married, divorced or widowed, if you are single right now, you are in a certain season, or time in your life. According to Ecclesiastes 3:1, this season of singleness has a purpose (….”a time to every purpose…”). In order to maximize your time in a certain season, it is imperative that you under the purpose of the season. I want to discuss what I believe your season of singleness is about and also what I believe it should not be about.

What It’s NOT
Church culture and ideology has convinced single people, especially single women, that the purpose of your time or season of singleness is to spend all of your time praying and waiting on a husband. A popular cliché among single women in the church today is, “I’m waiting on my Boaz”. However, many women in the church have spent all of their time of singleness waiting on “Boaz” and when he finally came, they discovered that they really got “BoBo” or “Bozo” (a clown).

For single men, especially single men who are preachers, pastors, etc., church culture, influenced by worldly ideologies has convinced men that something is wrong with you if you’re not married or engaged, especially by 30. In the minds of many carnal church people, 30 is the cut off point for single men. By that time, they’ve concluded that either you’re gay or that you’re a whoremonger who isn’t willing to settle down with just one woman.

I have seen many single men in the church and colleagues in ministry rush into a marriage because of the pressure that has been placed upon them. Most of these men who are rushed into marriage either aren’t ready mentally, emotionally and financially or they end up picking the wrong mate altogether. I always say that I’d rather be SINGLE than SORRY! The risk of picking the wrong one is more painful than being single in my opinion.

There certainly has to be more purpose to being a single Christian than just waiting around to get married! There has to be something better that we can be doing with our time. While I do believe that a season of singleness is the perfect time to prepare yourself for the future role of a husband or wife, certainly that is not the only purpose of your singleness!

What It Is
So what is the purpose for this season? What do we do in the meantime?

I believe one of those purposes is found in 1 Corinthians 7:32: “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” (KJV).

This scripture doesn’t mean that single Christians don’t have busy lives filled with responsibilities. What it is simply saying is that a single person has more time to care for the things of God and also how they may please the Lord. You have more time to pray, study, seek God, and so on. You are more free to pursue the purpose of God for your life and more time to spend with God. It goes on to say that a man or a woman who is married must now be concerned about worldly things, including how they can please their spouse.

The Bible talks about two becoming one. Marriage is the ultimate merger. In 1 Corinthians 7:4, it says that the husband doesn’t belong to himself, neither does the wife belong to herself. They belong and are submitted to each other. So there’s more to consider when you are connected to another person. You are not as free to “do your own thing”. You now have to be concerned about the other individual with whom you are connected for life.

Paul goes in chapter 7 to call marriage a distraction. In one scripture, he said that he wishes everyone was like him; single and celibate. However, Paul realized that everyone wasn’t going to be like him (thank God) and he said it is better to marry than to burn, implying sexual desire. So he did not forbid marriage, however he did imply that those who are single are in a better position in the Kingdom because they are more available to GOD.

Purpose
You may desire to get married one day and you might be waiting on a spouse. But why not spend this time, this season of your life pursuing God with your whole heart? This is the perfect time in your life to focus your full, undivided attention on God and His purpose for your life. This is the time to be on fire for God and to be close to God because once you get married, you not only belong to someone else, but you have other responsibilities that will sometimes take you away from the things of God.

So what is the purpose for a time or season of singleness? The purpose is to pursue God and His purpose, desires, plans and destiny for your life. This is the time to live your life with purpose and meaning. This is the time to discover who you are. This is the time to be happy and comfortable with yourself. If you can’t be happy alone, don’t think that a relationship can make you happy. It will only complicate your life because you will have no identity and you will look for a relationship to define who you are. But if you know who you are and who your God is, when it’s time for your to transition into marriage, you’ll be a whole person. Two can only become one when two whole people come to the marriage!

This is the perfect time to discover who you and all of the wonderful things that God has for you. You don’t have to wait until marriage, you can live your life with purpose now. I believe that once you begin seeking God and His purpose for your life, you will eventually attract someone who has been doing the same!

I remember after a hard breakup about two years ago, my spiritual father spoke some words of wisdom and encouragement to me. He told me that God had someone for me, but I would have a lonely walk because of the calling on my life and where God was taking me in ministry. He said that God needed to make sure that he had my heart and attention completely before He sent someone into my life because of the added responsibilities that I would have to take on.

What he was basically saying is that I will be distracted once a wife and kids came into the picture of my life. Though I didn’t want to hear that, especially the part about a “lonely walk”, it brought a sense of purpose and meaning to my time of singleness. This is the time for me to passionately pursue God and walk strong in my purpose.

Content….For Now
So in this season, enjoy your freedom! Don’t be so consumed with your singleness and the “idea” of getting married, that you don’t live your life. It is fine and perfectly normal to desire a spouse. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that it is wrong for you to desire marriage (especially if they’re married with thighs in their bed every night!).

God gave us the desire for intimacy. In the beginning, He said that it was not good that the man be alone. He told us to “be fruitful and multiply”, then gave us the sexual desire to make it happen. If your desire is to be married, I believe that God will give you the desires of your heart. But in the meantime, don’t be thirsty, lonely or depressed, especially around holidays such as today, St. Valentine’s Day.

Try not to sing the blues today. If you’re a woman, keep waiting,  open your heart to potential candidates and live your life to the fullest. If you’re a man, keep praying, keep your eyes open, find a woman and pursue your “good thing”. But don’t be so thirsty that you’re willing to settle for anybody just to have somebody! You have more purpose and value than that.

Bring all that you can out of your singleness. Be content in whatever state you’re in. Learn how to be happy where you are until your season changes. Content doesn’t necessarily mean satisfied, it means that you’re okay for now. If you can trust God and be content, I believe that He will bless you according to your faithfulness. When you focus on God and your purpose, everything else will fall in line. In Matthew 6:33 we are told to seek the Kingdom of God FIRST and His righteousness and everything else will be taken care of.

I’ll leave you with this quote by Dr. Debora Hooper……..

“Do so much ministry….Get so many degrees….Travel so many places….Save so much money….Buy so many clothes….Own so much property, that each night you go to bed so tired but thanking GOD for your [season of] singleness!”

Do something with your single life in the meantime. LIVE! When you do get married, what are you going to bring to the table?? #dropsmic